Children At Play
by elibunns
Summary: He needed a cook but instead took two idiots...Kid really should have thought that one through.
Ch. 1- The Three D's

It was an undeniable fact that anyone who dared to mess with Eustass 'Captain' Kid was an idiot with a death wish. As a man with a bounty in the millions and a nasty reputation that would make devils cringe, no one with a brain tried to test their luck and get on the man's bad side. He was bad news wherever he went and there wasn't a single person in the world who didn't know this particular rookie pirate's name or face. At least that's what Kid, his crew, and the entire populace of Shealeu Island thought.

As the gothic yet strangely colorful man strode down the quickly emptying streets of the small port town that was just outside of the South Blue territory. He smirked and almost seemed to gain life from the cowering townsfolk who scurried to get out of his crew's way. Their fear made him feel a twisted sense of pride but then it also pissed the redhead off immensely .

They were looking for a cook and the fact that not even a single person around could even manage to make eye contact with him was infuriating. Kid was sure they weren't going to find one here. With an irritated sigh, he contemplated on scaring one of the local bar patrons into giving them free booze before leaving.

{~}

It started with an annoying laugh of 'fahahaha'.

Sea foam green eyes fluttered as frosty purple ribbons of hair fell into the person's face. Their tan skin was flushing red from the hunched position they were in as they laughed hard enough to shake their entire body. If they laughed any harder they probably would have fallen from their perch on the bar stool. The bartender didn't know what to make of the sight. The person sitting in front of him was thin and lithe as a female would be but they were as flat as a board on both ends. Except for the masculine muscles that sculpted their body. They wore blue lipstick in the shape of a heart and had gaudy pointed eyelashes that stuck out into four spikes on the top of each eye. They were so long they went into their thin eyebrow line. Yet, to finish off the strangeness… They wore a black catsuit with no shoes or gloves and around their hips was a single yellow sash.

The weird person was laughing due to a recent den den mushi call they had received. On the other end of the communicator, who ever it was, they did not sound happy.

Especially since the purple haired stranger decided to pick up after letting it ring ten times. Something the bartender debated on throwing the androgynous bar goer out for. Still, he didn't try to eavesdrop on the conversation of his interesting customer but he couldn't help but overhear the last words spoken from the unknown person on other end of the call. 'I swear I will find you and when I do YOU ARE SEA KING FOOD!' Which-apparently-was hilarious to the strange purple haired person.

"I don't understand...how is a threat on your life funny?" The man behind the bar asked calmly as he poured another customer a brandy.

The person for a second seemed to regain their composure before comically rolling their shoulders. The gesture contradicted the person's facial expression though as thin blue lips were pulled into a tight frown.

Obviously it wasn't as funny as the stranger had made it seem.

"Alright then. Can I ask your name?" The man asked hoping for a different topic. The owner told him that if customers were loose cannons like this person, it's best to always keep the subject changing and it was advice that hadn't failed him yet.

"Oh, I apologize fer not introducin' myself, fahahaha!" There they went back to laughing. "I'm Solom."

"I take it you're not from here, Solom? Kurt by the way." Kurt nodded his shaved head toward his acquaintance, shocked to hear that the person's voice was deeper than his own. (which was pretty damn deep in his opinion)

"How'dya guess?" Solom grinned sheepishly.

"You have a West Blue accent. An I say it's a deep Weyst Blue Assint." Kurt drastically pronounced the words the way Solom would to make a point.

"Ye guessed it right." Solom nodded. "I come from Cottin Point. At the moment though I'm runnin."

"Does the person who called you have something to do with that?" The bald man asked as he leaned over the counter with his elbows propping him up.

"Ye guessed right again. Yep, my friend ain't too happy with her bestie at the moment." The green eyed man sighed sadly. "She's all sorts of mad at me."

"Why?" Kurt asked curiously. The man at the bar was so interesting a character he just had to hear this story.

"Well you see-"

Yet Solom was cut off by the bar's swinging doors being thrown open and off their hinges. In their place stood a girl as tall as the door frame who was breathing like she had been running for minutes. She had short black hair that framed her face in curls. Her tan skin flushed red and sweaty as her salmon pink eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. Her lips were painted black and she wore a leopard print bikini top with white shorts. She too did not wear any shoes, for instead she had the feet of some kind of bird.

"Ostrich!" Solom screeched.

"Solom!" 'Ostrich' screamed as she lunged into the bar.

In what seemed almost impossibly fast, the woman had her foot on the smaller man's throat. The scary thing was she had kicked him with enough force to completely demolish his windpipe, but he was fine. Another strange thing was that where the woman's foot rested on Solom's throat, there was no longer skin but a shiny black metallic layer protecting it. Which made the furious woman even more upset as she pulled her foot back and then grabbed her target by his ears. Then proceeded to drag the loudly squealing man out of the bar.

"I swear! If you think for one second that I'm just going to let you run off and play pirate; You. Are. Crazy." The woman roughly stated as she yanked Solom by his ear with every word. Something that was easy to do since she was about two heads taller than him with her ostrich legs.

"Come on Ossy! Why shouldn't I?" The man cried in pain.

"You wouldn't make it a day!" Ossy turned to face her friend with a heavy snarl. Her plucked and filled eyebrows furrowed to the point they almost touched.

"Ye don't know that fer sure!" The feminine man squealed. "I mean c'mon! I have muscles!" He then started flexing like an idiot. Making his well sculpted muscles bulge with every movement.

Ossy, annoyed with Solom's antics, flipped him off before turning around to leave him for good. Using the excuse 'you can't help those who won't help themselves' as her reason to leave. She didn't even make it five feet across the street before she literally saw red and rammed her nose right into a tuft of hair that smelled like smoke and lighter fluid. The force of the impact pushed her back a few feet and she could hear cursing as she held her own nose in her hands. It stung like hell and she thanked the gods that she were as tall as she was or she may have broken it. Then she remembered she had ran into someone and looked up to see who that was so she could apologize.

"Why don't you watch where you're going hag!" A pale man made of red hair and what seemed to be a bad attitude with muscles yelled as he wiped blood from his nose with the back of his hand.

"WHAT?!" Ossy screamed. Throwing her apology to the wind once the brute with a bad fashion sense called her hag. "I'd say you should watch where you're going short ass!'

"Kid…there's a marine base on this island." A man in a blue and white mask warned. His blonde hair bristling with the building tension that filled the air.

"So?!" The redhead screamed.

"So calm down and walk away. It's not like she'd be fun to fight. Look at her." The blonde calmly advised his temperamental companion.

Oh that was it. That had done it.

"YOU FUCKS!" Ossy screamed as she threw her big bird foot in the blonde's masked face.

The kick sent him back with a great amount of force, but not so much that he couldn't recover with a back handspring.

"You want a piece?!" He yelled as purple sparks engulfed Kid's hand.

Ossy watched as all the metal in the area began to levitate in the air. A low humming sound filled her ears and she could feel the anger radiating off her opponents in waves. Obviously, like her, the read haired man had eaten a devil fruit and it was a paramecia type that could control metal objects at whatever distance. Basically, he was a magnet man that could turn her into a pincushion. It was moments like this where Ossy applied the 'Three D's to Survival', as she called it. They were:

Dodge

Distract

Disappear

As the first wave of metal was sent her way, Ossy pivoted to the left and managed to escape a pipe that would have impaled her throat if she had not moved. She was about use her huge feet to stamp a large cloud of dust into the air so she could cover her escape but the pipe she had dodged had come back.

"The hell?" She yelped as the metal rod wrapped around her ankle. Crushing the bones as it grew tighter while an invisible force pulled her to her attacker.

"Thought you could get away huh?" The man named Kid sneered as he approached the trapped woman, a pistol in his hand with a finger itching to pull the trigger.

"You son of a-"

!BANG!

Ossy stopped breathing at the sound of the gunshot. She expected pain and the slow embrace of death as the black void claimed her soul. Instead Solom was in front of her on his knees. His forehead only centimeters away from the smoking end of the pistol's barrel. Ossy wanted to scream at the idea of him being dead because he saved her. Even more so after realizing she just yelled at him. Though, she could only find herself looking at Kid. His eyes were wide with rage as a small cut on his cheek began to bleed.

Then it all made sense.

Solom deflected the bullet with his devil fruit, the Tanso Tanso no mi or better known as the Carbon Carbon fruit which turned Solom's skin into a refined carbon shell-which was almost as hard as a diamond. Considering he just reflected a bullet sent at him executioners style, it could have been even harder than that.

"And you tell me not to get into trouble." Solom laughed as he turned to his friend, a small little soot spot left from the bullet on his forehead. As usual, there was smile on his face. "Why did you run into that guy you big clumsy Ostrich."

"I didn't mean to!" Ossy screamed exasperated . Completely forgetting that she was just nearly murdered due to relief that her friend was alive.

"Hey-" Kid muttered, his eyes overshadowed by his goggles.

"Well, this just proves ye shouldn't walk away while I'm flexin for ye, fahahaha." The tan man laughed, completely ignoring the man who shot him. Well...

Tried to.

"Kid just leave it, the marines are coming!" The masked man once again intervened.

With a click of his tongue the captain led out a ferocious howl and grabbed both Solom and Ossy by their waists and threw them over his shoulders.

"They're coming with us!"


End file.
